Everyone thinks I’m really happy

and bubbly and that I brush off insults and get over it… but really, I’m just so angry on the inside. It’s starting to overwhelm me.

Wow, tonight I noticed how unhappy I really am and how I’m just trying to cover it all up.

It’s quite sad actually. I’m finding all this stuff to keep me busy when really, I’m just trying to distract myself from realizing my dissatisfaction with life. I’m not happy and I think I need to keep pretending that I am. It’s better than having people ask me what’s wrong constantly when I really just don’t want to talk about it because I know they don’t care anyway.

It doesn’t even matter anymore, I don’t even matter anymore. You don’t matter much either.

So fuck everything, I’d rather be left alone than be used or taken for granted. I’m not only here for you when you need something. I’m not here for you to talk to when you’re bored. I’m not here for you to come to only when you “feel like it”. Fuck you if you’re going to be like that. Get the fuck off. I don’t need you.

Do you know who your friends are ?

cause i think i don't anymore .

There’s a huge difference

between someone who listens to you and someone who hears what you’re saying.

Because people can’t be straight forward enough.

I think I’m old enough to handle the truth. I already knew there wasn’t a Santa even though my parents kept telling me I better be good or I won’t get shit for Christmas. I knew there wasn’t a tooth fairy, because every morning I woke up, my tooth would be on the ground, chilling.
I don’t need to be running on false hope, because it’s definitely a waste of my time. I’m a big girl, I can handle big girl problems. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, because I’ll get over it. You act like I haven’t been hurt before. I picked myself up before and I can pick myself up again.
All I’m saying, be straightforward and I’ll be understanding. Easy as 1, 2, 3.

People say I’ve changed so much.

Well, here’s the honest truth: I grew up. I stopped letting people push me around, I learned that you can’t always be happy.

You know,

I just wanna let you know, that I never felt this way about anybody else, I think I love you, so don’t think I’m crazy when I tell you this, but if you ever hurt me, I’ll fucking kill you.

I liked you better when you were a nobody.

Check your ego before it gets so big, you lose yourself.

Don’t you hate it when people make a joke about you,

about something that you are actually incredibly insecure about. And they don’t realise it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest, because it hurts so much and brings up memories you’d rather forget. But you can’t say anything, because then people would know your weaknesses. They’d know how insecure you really are. So instead you just laugh it off, and hide the pain you feel inside.